If you really want to still practice this sort of lifestyle, find someone else. Then you'll be ready to post your own questions. It was then very possible for a relationship to work. She obviously does not take her job too seriously so what do you have to lose? What do you say to your best friend when she tells you she has been dating a married man for the past 3 years? There has been so much judgement in this thread. Hope did not ruin him. That is just what I would personaly want for myself. There are people who are drawn to open relationships, but as a rule they tend to end up with folks who think like them.
I think I shall see what other opinions show up here, maybe throught the weekend, and then sit down with my husband to discuss the whole thread before I do anything I might regret. Even though I don't understand the politics of an open marriage, I do understand trying to leave somebody your madly in love with to try to find your own happiness. With my practically non-existant libido these days, and my ever-increasing weight problem, I haven't been much for the market of late. It just takes a little effort to find the right board and figure out how you're going to use it. If someone decides to have a relationship with a married person who's in an open marriage, that's none of your business. In this case, you may end up losing your friends. They require imput and work.
Problem is tptb are the only big support group they have and they have the pen in hand! I am not the one that is in love with this man. Sounds like she deserves better. None of them threatened our relationship in any way. As an aside, and if and only if the preceeding question is a yes, why would somebody want to polka with someone that they didn't love while in a marraige? I know that we have each had casual lovers with whom we didn't feel the need to go into the complexities of our relationship no offense, but aside from disease issues, I don't think a one night stand has the right to any personal information. How do you control how far? That happens, but it is up to you to make the line you draw very clear. You're now seeing the result.
Bottom line is that however fun this may sound, it doesn't work. You seem to be spreading that out to say that is how everyone who has responded feels. The writers have her acting more like a cop, getting involved in all the cases directly instead of overseeing the police force. Funny, they rarely attribute the monogamous lifestyle as the root cause of the failure of a monogamous relationship. Once you post, make sure that you and that you're responding to the feedback you get.
I certainly don't, and I don't know anyone else who does. These relationships often develop first as friendships, and evolve to beome more intimate or romantic. She is conflicted between her strong emotional ties and circumstance which she wants more for herself and knows that he can't provide that for her. For lack of anything intelligent to say, that just sucks. Personally, I agree with putting it up front, but other things can complicate the issue. Once trust is broken, its hard to get back.
While this may sound constructive, I think the motivations are for entirely the wrong reasons. More perversion designed to destroy the traditional family unit, which the rock of society. Originally posted by Guinastasia I always thought mistress meant a woman you were sleeping with, that you were not married to-regardless of whether or not either person is married. Not everyone will have the same motivations or needs, either in open or closed relationships. The main reason I brought it here was to find out the experiences of others in similar circumstances. People just don't like the idea of their spouse fucking other people. If I may, I would like to take the opportunity to summarize a few points: Polyamory is quite different from swinging, wife-swapping, free-love, and bdsm.
Originally posted by OpalCat And don't say that we are less emotionally involved than other people in traditional marriages. The friendly folks there are not judgmental, and are not out to sell polyamory, but rather are there to sensibly and sensitively discuss such issues as your friend is facing. We respect each other's feelings. Just because it doesn't fit into what you have decided is morally right doesn't mean that it isn't. They are not more or less satisfied with their lives.
This issue isn't about lifestyle at all, it is simply typical everyday relationship drama. The key is making sure that you check out the message boards that you're going to be using before you jump into trusting what they say. Because jealousy is a negative base emotion, with no constructive purpose. What kind of reasoning is that? The rest is entirely up to her the way she wants to live her life. We're hoping to be all in one home. It took her moving a great distance away for me to get moving on along with my life.
Be firm, upfront and press the questions hard until she comes completely clean with the truth and nothing but the truth. At least not the kind of deep love I have for my husband with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. There was that a better way of rephrasing it or should I go get out my shovel so I can dig a deeper hole? Would he consider going to a counselor together to talk this through? Didn't the discovery of his total dishonesty and disrespect change her mind on whether he was worth loving? I have yet to see one in my life on this earth. So I don't put a lot of faith in surveys. Having him happier made me happier.